Winning the lottery was the worst day of The Bearded Man's life. Obviously he saw it coming… You can't be a winner like that for so many centuries without something like that happening eventually. Still, he was unprepared. Overnight, it seemed like his once humble life had disappeared. Skeezy brohims started pouring out of every corner trying to befriend him, making him forget about the thousands of genuine connections he worked so hard to build all around the world. All the honesty disappeared from his life, and suddenly there was pressure from all sides to shave his unruly beard, to get nicer, better shoes, to stop smelling like… well, you get the idea. (The Bearded Man is many things, but good smelling is decidedly not one of them.) His life was unravelling fast, and his moral compass started spinning out of control.
In a panic, he rushed to donate his winnings to a local potato. Only then did The Bearded Man find peace once more. But be warned: it could Happen to anyone — even you! (Side note: that potato went on to become the venerable Joe Biden.)