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DIMMI & TOMMY - I Don't Wanna Know

January 19, 2018
Internet user “JarbafarbleYolo420Swag” asks: “What was The Bearded Man’s most harebrained scheme?” Well Jarbafarble, if memory serves, the most zany scheme in which he ever partook was probably at world-wonder Niagara Falls in 1902. It was the turn of the century, and Annie Taylor had just somehow survived going down the falls in a barrel. Mind you, other people had tried with grisly results… Many had died, and the ones who survived were often in very bad shape indeed. Still, for some reason, The Bearded Man felt compelled to go down the falls in a barrel to be one of the cool kids. They pressurized the barrel from inside using a bicycle pump. Stupid, stupid, stupid. After waiting for hours, he finally took the plunge down the falls. When they cracked open the barrel, they found him alive inside, but very shaken up. Authorities asked how he survived, and he said: “Trust me, you don’t want to know…” He never gave a better answer than that in all these years. Personally, we believe that his bushy beard somehow broke his fall, but we’ll never know for sure.

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